This Cup

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My dear one, come.  Let us talk for a bit.  This has gone on in you long enough… you have been told, and you really believe -- that I hesitated when I came face to face with dying for you.

Yes… in the second Garden, in Gethsemane… you think I fell… like you did in Eden.  You find your own humanity on display there -- in Me -- as you ponder My agony, the night I was betrayed. 

Yes, it is a familiar story with you … its meaning you take for granted, as do layman and scholar alike.  There is, really, no significant elevation from the thorny plane in this, in all religious discourse, whether it be relics of antiquity or the musings of modern thought, written or oral.  You have been taught, and you have believed, that I got to a place in My Spirit where I did not want to die for you, and you have believed that I tried to get out of it. 

It is one of the most striking facets of what they now call… Christianity -- that its God wavered in weakness.  For a few moments here, come out with Me into some brighter light, to reconsider this.

My motive in prompting you so, My Love, does not involve any concern for theoretical accuracy.  Certainly, as in all perfection, accuracy is good… and this study does require diligent carefulness and all thoroughness … but as an end in itself mere accuracy is not a vibrant, worthy purpose in My economy.  We may leave that dryness to pompous academics … to dusty Pharisees wooing in the dark.

Neither do I, as darklings will, desire to tickle your fancy with a teaching that is new to you, to leave you amazed, impressed or entertained.  This is also a base thing, as an end in itself. 

What moves Me is a deeply painful awareness that you do not know Me very well.  Your view of Me is of tinsel and crepe, spangle and façade.  You too lightly find Me weak; you seldom meditate on My nature -- you do not think deeply of Me.  Your worship is shallow and dull, your love for Me is cold and warped, our walk together is disconnected and inconsistent.  It grieves Me profoundly.

Please, do not think that I would turn from you -- I love you with a passion that would literally kill you if you felt it fully.  But your lazy ignorance of Me is deeply painful to Me, and a vast robbery to you.  I will not satisfy this pain in full for now; that cannot be My purpose here.  I will live with it much as I have been, yet it moves Me to come to you. 

Very simply, in our few moments together here, I would like to raise your view of Me in a profound and permanent way.  Love, I am higher than you have thought -- much, much higher.  There is so much of Me that you have been neglecting -- missing in our relationship.  I, Myself, have forced no space between us; I have given you no boundaries in your intimacy with Me.  Yet you have been careless and shallow with Me, suffering in your ignorance and unbelief -- little do you know what vast treasure dwells within you in Me. 

You worship… an image of your own making -- an image that is above you, perhaps, but which is still well beneath Me.  No wonder it is cold … this self-directed worship.  I am moved to work in you a glimpse of something of Me in My glory, something above your present image of Me, to stir the embers of your heart to more passion for Me, more amazement with Me, more worship and communion in Me.  It is My delight to draw you into the communion that I share with My Father and to fill you with Myself, yet there are many layers to peel away from you ... many things will break and give way to Me as I work in you.  It will take time, but you will come to know Me.  These few moments here will be one rich step forward ... one of many, many more.

Come, it's time to go back to the Garden together with the facts as they are written.  What really happened in Me in the Garden of Gethsemane?  What have I told you, explicitly, in My Word?  Let us go back and watch carefully … listen carefully … prayerfully.  Then, together, let's reconsider the implications of My ever having hesitated in My central purpose concerning you, and we will discuss this for a bit.  Then, we'll step back and take a fresh look at things together.  I must say, I have been looking forward to these few moments with you for quite some time.  Shall we begin?

From the very first though, Beloved, let Me be plain with you: you do well to read the texts before you very carefully.  Do not skim lightly over My words.  You know better.  You are rich and fertile ground.  Enough of windy, careless haste in sowing eternal truths into the soil of your heart.  Let the pregnant seeds of My Word sink deeply into you and bear the rich fruit I intend in them.

It is well to start, as you might expect, in Matthew ... with chapter 26, verses 36 to 46 ... it is as good a place as any.  We'll eventually be in all four of the Gospels before we're done, and several other books as well. Matthew reads as follows:

36 Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, "Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder." 37And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. 38Then saith he unto them, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me." 39And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying,  "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." 40And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter,  "What, could ye not watch with me one hour? 41Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."  42He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying,  "O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done." 43And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. 44And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. 45Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, "Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me."

Please, as you ponder the text here carefully, notice several things. 

First, I become very sorrowful when I enter the garden of Gethsemane.  I am not already sorrowful when I approach the garden and enter it with My disciples; this is not a sorrow that continues in Me from earlier in the evening.  Neither is this the troubling of my Soul from several days earlier when I said, "Now is my soul troubled."  The sorrow "began" in Me once the four of us -- Peter, James, John, and Myself -- were alone there in the garden.  It is after I have separated Peter, James and John from the other disciples and have taken them aside that I, "began to be sorrowful and very heavy." (verse 37)

Second, note that the sorrow is born by My Soul, not by My Spirit, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful,"  and notice that the sorrow in My Soul is of such a nature that I am very near physical death because of it: I am "exceeding sorrowful, even unto death" (verse 38).  This is not a natural sorrow -- not a sorrow from this realm; you have not experienced any intensity such as this.  While it is true that many of My children have become so sad and depressed that they had no more will to live, no one besides Myself has ever been so sad that the sadness itself came near to squeezing the very life out of them.  Carefully notice that I was not so sad that I wanted to die; I was so sorrowful in My Soul that the sorrow itself came very near to killing Me: "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death."

Third, I deliberately and specifically ask My Father to, "let this cup pass from me." (verse 39)  In My prayer, though I do qualify My request by saying, "nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt," one should not deny the fact that I make the request, and that I do so passionately.  I am consciously and purposefully asking Father to do something for Me: "let this cup pass from me."  Do not hedge here by saying that I am not really asking to have "this cup" taken away since I say, "nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."  One must be honest with the text: I do ask My Father to take "this cup" away from Me. 

Neither is this a half-hearted thing with Me: I give Myself to beseeching My Father in the matter of "this cup" for three long and arduous hours.  I fully commit Myself to asking the Almighty to take "this cup" away from Me that I will not have to drink it. You're blind to this truth because you assume the cross is "this cup" … and you do not want to see me passionately giving Myself to turning from My Father's purpose.  Face this fact now… squarely and deeply.  Establish this truth in your heart: I passionately ask God to remove "this cup" from Me … I desire this with My whole heart.  Do not try to protect Me by twisting the passage; I do not need it.

Out in the light of our inspection here, as you reconsider all this, really now … does a half-hearted betrayal of the eternal plan fare any better in Me?  I think not.

Fourth, notice that in My submission to My Father, I plainly do not appear to know for certain what His response will be: I say, "If it be possible" (verse 39).  I am not confidently approaching Him as I have always done in the past, as if I know His ultimate intent for Me in this matter.  This is not to be taken as a general questioning of His ability: I am asking for something that My Father might not be willing to give to Me, and I am willing to go without His granting of My request if that is what He wants.  My will in the matter is plainly stated: I would like for Him to remove "this cup" from Me.  I am not sure if He will be willing to do this or not.  I do not know if He will answer Me by giving Me what I am asking for, or whether He will refuse Me.  I am willing to submit to Him either way. 

The better one knows Me, the more earnest the struggle in meditation here.  Only those who have fashioned an image of Me after their own weakness will find this type of prayer natural to Me.  While you have come to accept confusion and ignorance of the Father's will as a common friend in prayer, do not continue to delude yourself concerning the nature of My own life of prayer.  You will only find this quality in Me in this one incident; it has happened neither before nor since -- this is the only time I ever felt this way before My Father.  There is a vast treasure here -- and it is not to be found in My, "humanity coming out…" as others have suggested.   In fact, this experience is the essence of My deity coming out -- and it is an indescribably glorious victory.  There is nothing in Me that you may not inquire into with confidence.  I will never be a disappointment to you.

Fifth, the phrase, " the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak", pertains not just to the sleepy disciples, it pertains to Me as well.  I do not say, "Your spirits … ;"  I am purposefully generic here.  The preface, " Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation…" is not merely an admonition to the disciples to prepare for immanent danger; this is also an explanation of what I Myself am doing and what I Myself am going through.  Their experience is just a shallow reflection of My own deep struggle.  My Spirit is indeed willing, but My flesh is weak.  I am exhorting them to follow My example.  I Myself am rising to watch and pray – that the Father will remove this cup from Me -- so that I will not be overcome and defeated in this hour of temptation and trial.  I am following My own counsel here, encouraging My disciples to do as I am doing, since we are all in a similar struggle together.  Mine is a trial of sorrow; theirs is one of drowsiness. What?  Do you suppose I give My disciples spiritual direction and then neglect to follow it Myself?

This drowsiness that Peter, James, John and the rest of the disciples are fighting is also not a natural sleepiness, as is evident from the context.  Peter was a very intense young man, and he and James and John had spent many a night in prayer with Me.  They felt the importance of the hour, and their blood had been boiling for a fight as we entered the garden.  They had been warned of the betrayal, of the denials, of the scattering… that it would be My last meal with them.  Their swords were drawn in hand and they were fully intending to draw blood before the night was over. 

The trio wanted desperately to please Me in this matter of watchful prayer and they made deliberate plans to cooperate and to work together in praying with Me ... especially in the second round.  Make no mistake -- they were not just sleepy from a long day on the road and a nice evening meal.  They were just as eager to obey Me as I was to please My Father.

Lastly, and in particular, I want you to notice in this text in Matthew that I never tell you what the "cup" is.  I never say that it is the cross.  You have always assumed that it is.  You have never thought any other way about it.  You impose this on the text: it is not there.  Take your time -- search for it carefully so that you will be firmly convinced of this.  This assumption need not be made.

Next, let's go to Mark 14:32-42:

32 And they came to a place which was named Gethsemane: and he saith to his disciples, "Sit ye here, while I shall pray." 33And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy; 34And saith unto them, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch." 35And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. 36And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt." 37And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, "Simon, sleepest thou?  couldest not thou watch one hour? 38Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.  The spirit truly is ready but the flesh is weak." 39 And again he went away, and prayed, and spake the same words. 40And when he returned, he found them asleep again, (for their eyes were heavy,) neither wist they what to answer him.  41And he cometh the third time, and saith unto them, "Sleep on now, and take your rest: it is enough, the hour is come: behold, the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 42Rise up, let us go: lo, he that betrayeth me is at hand."

We get a little more insight here in Mark.  I use a different word to describe what is going on inside of Me: I… "began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy" (verse 34).  It is as if I am surprised at this profound sorrow and heaviness, and the intensity of it overwhelms Me visibly in the presence of My three friends.  The sorrow is not a panicking sorrow, as if I am in danger and wish to flee, but this is a debilitating, soul crushing heaviness.

In Matthew I pose, "If it be possible," yet here I render it, "All things are possible unto thee." (verse 36).  It is not the ability or power of My Father that I am uneasy about; it is His will that I sense I might become opposed by. 

Also, the deliberate clarity of My request is a bit more obvious here, in case you were still unsure about it after studying Matthew: "take away this cup from me." (verse 36)  I focus intensely before My Father in this matter during these long hours of prayer.  It was the only matter on My heart at the time… it was extremely important to Me.

When I return the second time and find My disciples asleep, the three, Peter, James and John, are left absolutely speechless: " neither wist they what to answer him."  They have already been embarrassed once ... do you suppose that they lightly reclined again to snooze as I went back to prayer?  Something unusual is happening in them.  I seldom asked them to do anything for Me; I have never before asked them to pray with Me like this! 

There is incredible anticipation in the air -- remember, I have just told the whole band that one of the twelve will betray me this very evening ... I have hinted at the struggle that is to come upon them and they have swords drawn in hand.  Each of them have purposed to stand with Me with all of their being…unto death.  Yes, they are giving it their very best, these burley fishermen are.  Many nights they have fished all night without a yawn.  With all the adrenaline flowing this should not be such a reach for them and they know it.  They are more confounded than embarrassed, and for good reason.

We also find another word for My being "willing" here, "the spirit truly is ready" (verse 38).  Ready for what?  Peter is ready and eager to pray with Me, he is ready to die for Me ... what about Myself?  What am I ready for?  Could I have been any less ready than Peter … to obey? … to follow through with the plans that I have made with My Father from eternity past?  I am ready too, obviously.  If My Spirit is indeed willing ... if in the core of My Being -- in My very heart -- I am united and "ready" ... why am I asking to have "this cup" taken away from Me?  Interesting?

Finally, in asking that the "cup" be taken away, I pray that "the hour might pass from (Me)" (verse 35).  These two things are equivalent: the "cup" being taken away from Me, and the "hour" passing from Me.  Which hour am I asking to be delivered from here?  The hour of the cross?  The hour in the garden?  Some other hour?  Which hour?  I do not say, do I?  The hour is "this cup:" it is a period of time in which I would experience (or was experiencing) something extremely undesirable.  It is My earnest longing before My Father to be delivered from this experience, or some aspect of it, whatever it is. 

On to Luke 22:39-46, where we find more treasure.

39And He came out, and went as He was wont, to the mount of Olives; and His disciples also followed Him. 40And when he was at the place, He said unto them, "Pray that ye enter not into temptation." 41And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast and kneeled down and prayed, 42saying, "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." 43And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening Him. 44And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. 45And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow, 46and said unto them, "Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation."

We have here further confirmation that it is the Father's will with Me that is the issue in this mysterious prayer: "Father, if thou be willing ..." (verse 42).  There is also further confirmation that I am deliberately and clearly asking Him to deliver Me from something: "Father … remove this cup from me." (verse 42)

We have two additional facts in Luke that are well worth noting.  During this time of prayer an angel comes to My side to give Me strength: "there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him." (verse 43).  Physically, I am very weak and I need supernatural strength from My Father just to continue praying, which He provides for Me through the angel. 

I am, "in an agony" as I pray to My Father.  As He strengthens Me and enables Me through this angel I begin to pray "more earnestly."  I am not being hesitant, half-hearted or double-minded about this fervent request before My Father.  What I am asking of Him I long for with all of My Being, and the more strength He supplies to Me the more intensely and earnestly I entreat Him to deliver Me -- to take away "this cup" from Me. 

It is with strong emotion that I labor in prayer before My Father, which struggle results in profuse sweating as I strain in My agony.  My entire frame is rigidly taught in the trembling and strain of the conflict.  The tension in My visage is such that many blood vessels are rupturing near the surface of My facial skin, mixing blood into My sweat as it pours off of Me onto the ground.  I am "resisting unto blood, striving against sin."  (Hebrews 12:4)  What sin am I striving against, as I seek with all of My holy Heart to be delivered from "this cup?" 

Consider My example here, as I have instructed you to do: "Consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." (Hebrews 12:3)  As you consider My example in the Garden of Gethsemane, as described in the above texts, are you encouraged by the fact that I deliberately and repeatedly and passionately asked to have "this cup" removed so that I would not have to drink it?  Do you find this profoundly attractive?… as you meditate on this in Me … that I earnestly and fervently desired to be delivered from "this cup?"  Am I the perfect Pattern for you to follow in resisting temptation and sin?  In being selfless and unflinchingly obedient in all things?  Do you find Me to be an unspeakably glorious Hero on your behalf in this trial?  Are you awed at My passionate submission to My Father's plan for Me?  You ought to be.

Or do you rejoice in finding double-mindedness in Me… in the Garden?  After an endless eternal past of waiting to fulfill My Father's will, shall I endure the rest of eternity to come – poised in the midst of the majestic throne – glorying in the fact that I tried to get out of the entire plan at the last moment?  Was I a coward in the end?  Was I afraid?  Was I double minded?  Was I really -- at this awesome moment -- a desperately unwilling sacrifice for you?

Can you not see -- in Me -- anything higher than this?

Does My single-mindedness overwhelm you as I pursue My Father's purpose in sending Me to earth -- to give My life a ransom for many?  Why not?  Perhaps it is because you have never understood what I went through and what I was doing there… on My knees… in the garden.

When I asked My Father to remove "this cup" from Me, was I praying according to the will of My Father?   Was My will ever different from My Father's will?  I never sought anything but My Father's will… before, during, or after the Garden of Gethsemane. "I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me." (John 6:38) "My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me, and to finish His work." (John 4:34)  As I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me, I was seeking My Father's will as He had revealed it to Me from eternity past: My will was exactly the same as His will.

When I asked My Father to remove "this cup" from Me, was I praying this by My own strength or by His strength?  By whose strength was I praying as I labored in agony in the garden?  Did I not say, "I can of mine own self do nothing?" (John 5:30) "The Father that dwelleth in Me, He doeth the works." (John 14:10)  As I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me, I was praying by My Father's strength.  This prayer itself was the Father's work in Me.

When I asked My Father to remove "this cup" from Me, was I praying this at His bidding or on My own initiative?  "Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do." (John 5:19)  "I do nothing of Myself; but as My Father hath taught me, I speak these things." (John 6:29)  As I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me, I was being moved to do this through My Father's initiative; I was not praying or acting in self-will.

Do you suppose that My Father was pleased with My request that He remove "this cup" from Me?  "I do always those things that please him." (John 8:29)  As I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me, My Father was exceedingly pleased.

As My Father looked at the course of My entire life in all of its detail, from outside of time and space -- including My request in the Garden – My request for Him to remove this cup from Me so that I would not drink it -- was there anything at all that was displeasing to Him? "This is My beloved son, in whom I am well pleased."  (Matthew 3:17)  There was absolutely nothing in My Being at any time that did not cause My Father to gloriously rejoice in Me -- not even in the garden!  How about you?  Do you delightfully rejoice, like My Father does, in the fact that I so passionately asked to have this cup removed from Me?

Was I asking for "this cup" to be removed in faith?  Did I pray in faith to have this cup removed?  "Whatsoever is not of faith, is sin." (Romans 14:23)  As I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me, I was praying in faith.  I was praying according to My Father's revealed purpose.  I was praying in faith, believing in His promises to Me, and I was asking Him to be faithful to Me.

Did I waver or hesitate in seeking to finish My Father's work?  "No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."  (Luke 9:62)  Am I, the King, unfit for the kingdom?  "A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways" (James 5:8).  Am I really unstable in all of My ways?  No, I never did hesitate or waver for an instant, not even as I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me.  There has never been anything in Me but a fervent passion to obey and please My Father.

We do not yet have all of the facts -- there is much more.  Consider for a moment My teaching to you about cross-bearing.  One day, I told My disciples very emphatically that they were not to tell anyone that I was the Christ, since it was sovereignly intended that I be rejected and put to death by My own people.  I reinforced the goodness of this plan by telling them how important it was that they also deny themselves and be willing to lay down their own lives.  Anyone loving his life would certainly lose their life.

 "He said unto them, 'But whom say ye that I am?'  Peter answering said, 'The Christ of God.'  And he straitly charged them, and commanded them to tell no man that thing; saying, 'The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day.'  And he said to them, 'If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." (Luke 9:20-24) 

Consider this teaching of Mine in light of My prayer in the Garden.  After giving you instruction to lose your life, to deny yourself, to take up your cross and follow Me, was I seeking to get out of taking My own cross as I approached it?  Is that the kind of example you think I left for you? that I wholeheartedly call you to follow Me in?

This same incident is also recorded in Matthew 16:20-25, where more interesting detail is given.  Peter, here, after identifying Me as the Messiah and being encouraged in this, also aggressively suggested that I should not eagerly embrace My cross.  There is much to be drawn from this text, so I will open it to you bit by bit as we go along.

"From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day."  Notice, I was no stranger to the trial that My Father had laid out before Me.  I was fully aware of what was to come upon Me, and I had fully set My heart to obey Him in it.  

However, "Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, 'Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.'"  He was thinking like you have accused Me of thinking, really ... that there just might be some other way, that I might not have to endure this cross with all of its shame and suffering.  After all, isn't that what you thought I was doing?  What was I doing there in the garden, if I wasn't trying to get out of it … if I wasn't looking for some other way?  Haven't you laid the thoughts of Peter in My own Breast as if I were warm to them in My own Being? 

What do you suppose My thoughts were in response to this suggestion of Peter -- the mere possibility of not going to the cross to die for you?  Was it something that I Myself had been contemplating?  Was this suffering and dying a cost I had not counted, a pain that I had not yet deeply considered and resolved completely?  Did Peter's suggestion draw My attention to some faint hope I had been cradling in My own Breast?  Do you think that I would find some rich communion with Peter in this, as he sought to protect Me from such vile abuse and cruelty?  Read on.

"But he turned, and said unto Peter, 'Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offense unto me ...'" (Matthew 16:23a)  Please, My dear wife … take a good sober look at this!  What was My reaction to the suggestion that I would not go to the cross for you? 

Is there any doubt in your mind how I feel about this?  Is there some way that I could have been more emphatic about this?

Is there any doubt in your mind where this suggestion came from?  Where did this thought spawn?  Was it found in My Father?  Was it born in Me?  Most obviously not.  It was from Satan.  It was so directly from Satan that I called Peter a name for having been a vehicle for its utterance: I labeled him.  I called him, "Satan."  Please, let it be plain to you that this is no light thing with Me.  Can you think of a time when I responded more harshly to anyone else? over anything else? as I responded to Peter in this incident?

It was in response to this satanic suggestion that I taught My disciples the essence of cross bearing and suffering.  First, I explained that the essence of Peter's error was in the fact that his tastes, affections and longings were in the wrong place: "for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men." (Matthew 16:23b)  It was his carnal thinking that had been the avenue for Satan's deception.  For Me to have taken Peter's suggestion to heart, as is claimed I did in the garden, would imply that My own heart's affection was misplaced like Peter's was. 

If a heart filled with wrong affection had been the opportunity for the satanic suggestion in Peter, would you draw the same conclusion for Me?  Would you find Me relishing the things of men instead of the things of My Father in asking to have this cup removed from Me?  Would you find Me a dupe to Satan's wiles?

To emphasize My point as I rebuked Peter for his evil thinking, I soon expanded My address to the rest of My disciples -- for they were all in agreement with Peter and needed some very pointed instruction in this matter of cross-bearing.  "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, 'If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.  For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.'" (Matthew 16: 24-25)  There was no reservation in My Spirit as I bid them to follow Me in carrying My cross – none whatsoever. 

As I bid them, and you, to take up your crosses and come after Me, do I turn from My goal with all of you following in My tracks behind Me?  As you pursue Me … do you expect Me to waver and hesitate? 

Nay!  Do you think to have Me turn clean out of the way in front of you all? 

As I exhort My slumbering friends in the Garden, "Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation," I should certainly be doing the same, should I not?   You observe that I do give Myself to earnest and watchful prayer… watching lest I Myself enter into temptation.  If it be true that any facet of the temptation I face is yielding to a hesitation and a reluctance to be crucified on your behalf, then it is certainly true – if indeed "this cup" is My cross -- that I am not successfully resisting this temptation at all when I am praying in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Avoiding "this cup" is what I am passionately giving Myself to doing!  I resist "this cup" with My whole heart… with all of the earnestness of My entire Being.  If "this cup" is My cross, then I fail miserably in resisting this part of My temptation just as My disciples fail in their slumbering: it clearly implies that I enter fully into this temptation instead of resisting it.

Doesn't it appall you that I have been accused of doing so?  Do you think for one minute that I would not be a perfect example for you in this? -- Me, the "Author and Finisher of (your) faith: who for the joy that was set before (Me) endured (your) cross, despising the shame"? (Hebrews 12:2)

I do not intend for you to find in Me a hesitance and an unwillingness in carrying My cross.  The student cannot rise above his Master, nor the servant above his Lord.  Many of My disciples throughout the centuries have passionately embraced fierce suffering for My Name's sake; I have suffered with them and in them.  Yet, in a context of this rich heritage of faithful martyrs which is left for you, My prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane is the greatest example of submission and obedience in cross bearing that anyone could ever leave you -- I do so deeply want you to see it.  Could you really expect it to be otherwise?

About a week before I would take up My cross for you, I openly and publicly discussed the issue that rises in the shadow of My request that "this cup" be removed from Me.  In John 12:27-28 I say, "Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say?  'Father, save me from this hour': but for this cause came I unto this hour.  Father, glorify thy name."

Notice that I have already rejected the idea that there is any other path for Me in this matter of the cross.  Though it is true, at this point in My earthly life, that the prospect of being separated from My Father and crushed on your behalf is troubling to My Soul, let it be plain that the matter is already deeply settled in Me before I ever step foot in the garden.  Though I am troubled, I am not at all sorrowful at this time and I have no regret or hesitation in My Spirit about what I have been called upon to suffer for you.  I am not going to ask My Father to remove the cross from Me and I tell this openly to the world.  My death has been planned from eternity past and it is the central purpose of My coming, " for this cause came I unto this hour."  I have thought about it resolutely, and I have utterly, passionately and wholeheartedly rejected the idea that there is any other path for Me.  I do not waver, even though I am troubled.  The cross is going to be painful, unspeakably painful.  Yet, I am resolved: "Father, glorify thy name." 

My Father's response is , "I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again."  We were one in this matter.  We have always been. We still are. We always will be.  It has never been otherwise; not at any time.

In this example of prayer I have left you a pattern, a pattern that blends nicely with the instruction I have given you on prayer.  I have told you that if you ask for anything according to My Father's will, He will hear you and give you what you are asking for from Him.   You are told to be confident that this is true.  "This is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us: and if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him."(1 John 5:14-15)  As I prayed to have "this cup" removed from Me, My will was exactly the same as My Father's will.  I met the conditions for answered prayer that I have given to you, and My prayer was answered. When I asked Him to "take away this cup from Me", He did.  When I asked that the hour might pass from Me, it did.  I did not drink "this cup."

Let Me summarize the above for you now.  When I asked My Father to remove "this cup" from Me, I was praying according to My Father's will.  My will was exactly the same as His and We both wanted the exact same thing, just as We always have from eternity past.  There was no schism between us, no disharmony: there was a like-mindedness and a unity and an accord -- as always.  Our fellowship was never strained or broken.  I was praying by His strength and by His direction, with His initiative, at His bidding and for His pleasure -- just like always.  While I was agonizing in prayer before Him I moved within the sphere of His perfect will for Me and Our oneness was never put aside.  It was the Father in Me Who prayed that prayer in Me; We were one in Our purpose.  I never hesitated or wavered for even an instant in considering what needed to be done to ransom you.  There was full, unflinching, unbroken, passionate resolution in My Spirit. 

I have shown you that I was praying according to My Father's will, and I have shown you that prayers in the Father's will are granted.  Thus, I have shown you that My Father answered My prayer in the garden.  When I asked Him to remove "this cup" from Me, He said "Yes," and He did remove "this cup" from Me.  I did not drink it.  That cup was not My cross … it was not your cross.  That was not the issue with me at all.  It was something else altogether that I wished to be delivered from.

The cross is the centerpiece of My design, the hinge pin upon which all of My working moves and swings.  I was filled with the cross from eternity past … and I am moved to a deep, indignant rage over the suggestion that I should not go to the cross for you!  Do not think I wanted to escape it in the garden!  Do not think to find Me a vehicle for satanic suggestion in prayer before My Father… concerning the central purpose and design of My very incarnation!  Do not ever again suggest that in My "humanity" I prayed "earnestly" for something that had been suggested to Me by Satan himself.

Isn't it nice to be free of this?  I love you deeply … Oh!  I want you to know Me.  Begin to study Me with an earnest heart.  I will be found of you.  Let us not be strangers in the clouds when I come for you.  There is no need for that.

We have not yet looked at the single passage that does unlock the priceless treasure buried here for you, and points you to the resolution of this mystery of My garden prayer.  Have you any idea where such a scripture might be?  It is not in the Gospels ... try Hebrews 5:7-9:

"Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared; though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; and being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him." 

This passage, more than any other, describes what happened in Me in the Garden of Gethsemane that awesome night.  This short passage unravels the mystery of the Garden experience.  Each word is rich with "de light."  Let's go through it phrase by phrase.

"Who ...", that's Me, the Christ, the subject of the previous sentences in verses 5 and 6.  "... in the days of his flesh ... ", describing a scene in My earthly sojourn.  "... when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears ...", a description of My experience in the Garden. 

The garden prayer is the only place revealed in My Word in which I experience offering up "prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears."  Here, in Hebrews, I refer to this incident -- of offering up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears -- as an incident you ought to be familiar with, so that I might illustrate for you My pattern of obedience and suffering through it.  If you are expected to be familiar with an event that I am referring to, and I only describe one remotely like it in all of the information you have been given about Me, then I must be referring to this event you know about.  This phrase must reference My experience in the Garden of Gethsemane.  It does.

"... unto him that was able to save him from death ..."  I was addressing My Father as the One Who was able to save Me from death, because that is what I wanted Him to do for Me.  My soul was, "exceeding sorrowful, even unto death."  I did not want to die in the garden.  Something, someone, or many "someones" were wickedly threatening My very life in the garden.  I was in very real danger of literally dying right there in front of My disciples.  Naturally, yes… even supernaturally, I desired deliverance from My Father.  I sought Him with all of the earnestness in My entire Being to be delivered from a painless, senseless, bloodless death in the garden of Gethsemane. 

During this incredible experience, I said to My Father repeatedly, "Nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done."  This does not imply that My will was ever different from My Father's.  It is an expression of the fact that My will would remain oriented toward that which was pleasing to Him.  In every situation We face together, the same things always please Us both, but it is His pleasure that orients Us, not My pleasure. Our Mind and Will is governed by what is pleasing to Him, not to Me.  Since Our Hearts are perfectly united, what pleases Him pleases Me as well, but that is really of no consequence in providing direction for Our work together.  I regularly submit to His pleasure instead of Mine, and it is always pleasing to Me to do so.  "My Father is greater than I." 

In this matter of My cross, of your cross, I wanted to die for you so passionately that it was appropriate for Me to openly express to My Father that it would continue to be His will that would direct Me.  I would not deliver Myself from death in the garden even though I would have been defeated by an untimely death had I died there.  Though I did not have the natural physical strength I needed to endure the torment, I would not be self-willed in My desire to follow Him.  I cast Myself wholly on the will of My Father -- so much so that if He had changed His mind and had withdrawn from Me concerning the plans We had made together from the foundation of the world, I would have yielded to Him -- and I would have died right there on My face in the dirt.  I was not willing to be unfaithful to Him, yet I was willing to yield to Him if He became unfaithful to Me.  He was not unfaithful -- He is true to His nature… Our nature.

Something necessary and rare was taking place in Me during this agony -- I was shedding the knowledge of My Father's will for Me concerning the central reason of My coming to earth.  I laid aside My knowledge of His faithfulness and left Myself vulnerably prostrate before His will.  Everything I stood for, had prepared for, and had followed after was laid out and yielded up to Him to do with as He wished.  There were no rules; there were no demands.  I waited for three long hours before Him, in death defying sorrow, longing to go to a cross that might be taken away from Me.  I faced the possibility of lying down in the dirt of that garden never to rise again, a complete and utter failure ... a vast divine waste.  I was obedient, even unto an eternal, purposeless death.  This was an indescribable victory, it was not … "My humanity coming out."  This type of blind yieldedness is the essence of cross bearing ... it is an essential part of My deity, and My rich example to you.

"... and was heard in that he feared ..."  My Father saw My "fear" of Him, My reverence for Him, My respect for Him, My utter and complete submission to Him, and He heard Me.  He is true and He does not change, even when openly given the "freedom" to do so.  Absolutely nothing "constrains" My Father to act… His own holy nature never moves: "with whom is no variableness neither shadow of turning." (James 1:17b)  He was not ever constrained by My will in this matter even though We had wholeheartedly agreed to the crucifixion plan from eternity past.  I did not demand deliverance from Him when a lethally oppressive sorrow threatened this plan; I would not be self-willed in dying for you -- though this is what I personally longed for with all of My divine Being.  Of My Father's own purpose and glory He answered My prayer and delivered Me from death. 

Yes, I did not die in the garden.  My prayers were answered by the angel coming to strengthen Me.  My Father did this for Me so that I could go to the cross.  "This cup" I dreaded to drink was not that of going to the cross, it was that of not going to the cross! not being allowed to go to the cross!

"... though he were a Son ... " even though I was His Son, His image, and His very Life ... all His fullness dwells in Me, "... yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered ..."  I was put into a situation where I learned by experience to become obedient completely outside of My own will and understanding.  This was the first and only time that this occurred in Me: I was brought to vulnerably release My knowledge of His purpose for Me and openly admit to being uncertain of His response.  Though you are regularly uncertain of My Father's response to you as you seek His will in prayer, I want you to know that this is an incredibly profound event with Me. 

Though both I and My Father wanted the same thing, I was moved to lay aside My understanding of His will and blindly obey My Father.  I could not actually see His ultimate will in that moment of time.  From My limited perspective at that time, if He had not received My prayer in the garden, I understood that I would have died right there, and I yielded obediently, voluntarily.  I would not be self-willed in going to the cross for you.  I was willing to obey Him even if it meant wasting the entire purpose of My coming, dying as a failure in the garden, and leaving the promises eternally unfulfilled: I was willing to not go to the cross in My surrender to His will.  That surrender to Him was complete and perfect.

 "... and being made perfect ..."  The Father's work in Me, preparing Me as Your Savior, was completed in this experience.  It was something appropriate for Me to endure for you ... for I call some of My children to do this at times.  It is profoundly shattering ... as you yourself may come to know.

" ... he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him ..."  It was shortly after this that I authored and completed your salvation by dying in your place on your cross.  I suffered everything that you would have ever been called upon to suffer for all of eternity had I not done this for you.  I have completely ingested this cup of My Father's wrath for you -- this cup that still has your name upon it.  It is empty now, there is nothing left for you to drink ... not even the taste of that bitter potion remains.  That cup of yours is clean.  It cannot harm you now.  All of its devastating power was unleashed in Me.  You are free.

When I see you face to face ... there will be no shame in Me from My prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.  As I look into your eyes, and as you gaze into Mine ... as I take you up in My Arms ... you will know Me as I know you.  Then you will see how pure and selfless I am, and always have been.  You will know how perfect and complete was My longing to become your sin and set you free.  You will see My unbroken passion toward you, as an eternal Being outside of time and space.  My heart has never changed toward you -- not even for an instant -- not even in the most intense suffering.  I have loved you with an everlasting love, a sacrificial love. You have no idea how much.  Your eyes and heart must be veiled somewhat in this ... in sensing the length and breadth and depth and height of My love for you.  It would mar your dusty frame beyond repair if you saw My love for you unveiled, and I would have to bring you home before your time.  Taste what I give you as we walk together, and relish what you can for now.  Soon though, I will show you My love in all of its intense fullness.  It won't be long.  Then ... we will be one ... no more veil ... and I will pour out My love in you without measure or restraint.

For now ... what do you say?  Do you now find Me faithful in the Garden?  Has this little time together been profitable for you?  Has your heart become a little larger with Me?  Shall we spend some more time together ... you and I?  Seek Me with all of your heart, dear child; I will be found of you.


A post script from the author

It is written, "If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God."  Yet, as your own feeble brother, I beg your tolerance for my speaking in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself in this paper.  I am a vessel of sinful clay -- dust and ash -- and I have taken upon me to express Him through my own sinful frame when I cannot claim to be precisely inspired of Him.   Though He dwells in me, and all I have written here is consistent with His revelation to me, I do realize that I tread on holy ground that is uncommon with the saints.  Though I sense He bids me to do this, it is an awesome thing to touch, and my spirit trembles in it.  Papa, forgive any error in this thing which You would not Yourself have written, and use what truly is of You for Your own purposes in your lovely bride.


An afterthought:

Off the record, and simply as a matter of curiosity, let me indulge you with a bit of speculation about why I feel that our Lord Jesus was so deeply sorrowful in the Garden.  What really did happen there?  We are not told, exactly, so we will not ever know for certain until He personally reveals this to us.  In truth, we do not need to know … He would have told us if we did. 

Whether it be only of academic interest, or if one may find it genuinely profitable to muse on this… you may freely judge.

In my opinion, it is quite plausible that Satan expected our Lord Jesus Christ to begin to set up His earthly kingdom the day following this event in the garden of Gethsemane.  I do not think Satan was conscious of the nature of the crucifixion plan, nor was he aware that an atonement by Jesus Christ would accomplish his utter defeat.  Though he did seek to tempt Christ to disobedience in not going to the cross through Peter, I do not think that Satan understood the wisdom or the timing of the crucifixion plan.  I think that the atonement is the " hidden wisdom, which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory." (1 Corinthians 2:7b-8). 

Perhaps the enemy was blinded or confused, not knowing the order of the divine plan.  In any case, Satan was more than delighted to carry out the Father's plan when presented with an opportunity to do real, substantial – and apparently fatal -- damage to our Savior: without hesitation Satan actually did "crucify the Lord of Glory" to his own eternal demise.  Apparently, in the Garden, Satan was trying to thwart something else, he was not trying to thwart the cross.  I think that Satan was trying one last-ditch effort to spoil the initiation of the millennial reign of Christ, as prophesied in the Scriptures and as expected by the disciples.  The evil one is the prince of the power of the air, and I sense that he felt his kingdom was near its end.

Realizing that something profound was soon to happen in the plan of the Messiah, and sensing that a crisis was at hand, I suspect that Satan arranged a massive confrontation to thwart what he thought was a movement of the Lord toward an ascension of the Davidic throne: the establishment of the long anticipated millennial reign.  I think Satan summoned all of the infernal spirits loose about the globe and converged with them in hellish deluge upon the human Soul of our Lord Jesus Christ in the garden of Gethsemane.  Satan had already placed in the heart of Judas Iscariot to turn against our Lord, and I suppose that just prior the betrayal itself Satan sought to crush the energy and life out of Jesus, to weary or kill Him as the soldiers and Pharisees approached to take Him. 

In what would certainly have been the most intense and focused spiritual oppression of all time, summoning all of the supernatural strength that was within all of the satanic hosts throughout the universe, I feel that the enemies of our beloved Lord Jesus plunged upon His human frame to crush His very life out of Him.  I expect that one weak little demon was left to put the eleven comrades to sleep and keep them from prayerfully resisting the attack.  While Christ could not be tempted to sin in His humanity, as Satan had painfully discovered early in the earthly ministry of our Lord, perhaps this God-Man could be physically and emotionally crushed to death.  It would have been Satan's last resort, and I expect that he gave it all he had.  

Though divine, Jesus Christ was completely human.  Apparently, if it happened as I suppose, Jesus could not endure this attack in His own human strength.  He fell on His face in the Garden, a Lamb among wolves, and cried out to His Father instead of protecting Himself.  The Father heard His cry and answered by sending one lone angel to strengthen Him.  Jesus was strengthened emotionally and physically to endure the attack.  Jesus Christ was not protected, the attack was not diverted nor diminished in its force, and the demons were not driven off.  Jesus was allowed to suffer as they relentlessly ravaged His very human Soul.  He was not protected... simply strengthened physically to endure the torment.  It was not Himself that He was worried about in this though -- it was you and I in Him: our eternal welfare was at stake, even if Satan was unaware of the type of ruin he was threatening.

After spending their strength on Him for three long hours, mauling Him mercilessly, and finding Him stronger in His unshielded endurance of their ferocity than they were able to persevere in with their fiendish ravaging, they relented and stood back to regroup, bringing in the betrayer and his arrogant little mob.  When the Lord Jesus Christ meekly yielded to the band anyway, the spirits of darkness were unguardedly overcome in foolish delight, rushing headlong to their own defeat at the cross. 

Short-lived was their carnal rejoicing... as we are well aware.  Praise be to our God!

Perhaps you are entertained or encouraged somewhat in this conjecture of mine.  Perhaps you have a better idea.  It is of little significance to me really, though I would enjoy your thoughts on the matter if you care to share them with me.  I will not defend my own speculation with any real spirit.  It is of little more than amusement to me.  What I own, and hold dear, is the eternal, timeless faithfulness of my Master … not any of my conjectures.

I will hold dearly to one thing in this matter: "this cup" was not my cross.  My Lord Jesus was not trying to evade my cross.   He was not -- at any time -- an unwilling sacrifice for me.  The cup was the hour of danger in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Something, or someone, came very near to killing Him there.  That is not where He intended to die.  I am so very glad ... that He did not.

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